Wife On The Rocks I Gaslighting, Addiction, Codependency, Al Anon, Alcoholism, Recovery

Ep 40 Feel Crazy? Gaslighting: The Basics and How To Spot It Amidst Addiction

Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your husband and thought, “Am I crazy?”You’re not. You may be experiencing gaslighting—one of the most confusing and painful behaviors that often shows up in alcoholic marriages.
In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we’re going back to the basics. You’ll learn what gaslighting really is, how it makes you doubt your memory and emotions, and why it leaves you feeling like you can’t trust yourself.
We’ll talk about:✅ How alcohol and denial fuel gaslighting in relationships✅ Common gaslighting phrases and how they twist reality✅ Why the constant confusion is not your fault✅ How to start reclaiming your peace and confidence through truth and faith
If you’ve ever questioned your own sanity because of the chaos around you, this episode will help you breathe again and find peace through God’s truth.
 
✨ Ready to find peace through the holidays?Join my Holiday Survival Course, a 5-week experience BEGINNING OCTOBER 21 designed to help wives of alcoholics stay grounded, set boundaries with grace, and walk in peace this holiday season. You DO NOT have to walk through it this year alone!! I want to dive deeper with you and share with you what I have learned that has helped me to survive the most beautiful.......and sometimes the most painful part of the year for our family ♥ 
👉Click here to learn more and join the Holiday Survival Course: https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/holiday-survival-course   
📩 Have a question you’d like me to answer in a future episode? Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com 
💬 My 1:1 coaching sessions are open with limited availability—Click here to schedule a one-on-one session or consider joinging the Holiday Survival Course linked above to meet with me ASAP inside the course! https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

Ep 39 Quitting Alcohol But NOTHING Has Changed: Is My Alcoholic Husband Really Sober?

Has your husband quit drinking, but the chaos, anger, or dysfunction in your home hasn’t gone away? Many Christian wives find themselves asking: “If he’s not drinking, why doesn’t life feel better?” Sobriety and recovery are not the same thing, and understanding the difference can bring clarity, peace, and direction.
In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we’ll talk about:
Why simply stopping alcohol isn’t the same as living in recovery.
Common patterns of “dry drunk” behavior and how they impact the family.
What real transformation looks like beyond putting down the bottle.
Encouragement from Scripture 
If you’ve been questioning whether your husband’s sobriety is real—or wondering why things still feel broken—this episode will help you spot the difference and anchor your hope in the One who truly restores.
👉 Submit any questions to hello@wifeontherocks.com
👉 Book a 1:1 coaching session https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 
👉Come Hang Out With Me For The Holiday Survival Course LIVE October 2025
https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/holiday-survival-course
✨ Dreaming of a picture-perfect holiday, only to feel the weight of alcohol seeping into the season instead? You’re not alone. That’s why I created the Holiday Survival Course — a 5-week live small group where we’ll work together on building a thoughtful plan to help you navigate the holidays with more stability, peace, and faith.
I can’t promise everything will go smoothly — but I can give you tools to steady yourself in the unpredictability, protect your peace, and keep your heart anchored in Christ when things get hard.
We’ll meet on Zoom Tuesdays, October 21 through November 18, wrapping up just before Thanksgiving. Space is limited.
👉 Reserve your seat here: https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/holiday-survival-course

Ep 38 My Alcoholic Husband Doesn't Want Me To Go To Alanon! What Are My Options?

Does your husband push back when you mention Al-Anon—or accuse it of being “husband bashing”? You’re not alone. Many Christian wives long for support but feel trapped when their spouse doesn’t approve. In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we’ll talk honestly about the struggle of wanting help with addiction and alcoholism while facing resistance at home.
You’ll hear:
Why secrecy feels like lying, but sometimes becomes survival when you need support.
The truth about what Al-Anon really is (and isn’t).
Online meeting options through the Al-Anon app and other accessible resources.
Alternative programs and supports that can meet the same needs.
How coaching or courses (like my upcoming fall program) can give you faith-based support without secrecy.
You don’t have to choose between honoring your marriage and getting the help you need. The gaslighting of him saying that there isn't an issue in the first place and trying to make that make sense with what you are experiencing.......This conversation will help you sort through your options and move forward in wisdom and peace.
👉 Submit your questions for future episodes at hello@wifeontherocks.com 
👉 Want personalized support? Book a 1:1 coaching session right here https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 
Curious about the fall course I am opening - Holiday Survival Course- email me to check out details and get on the waiting list! hello@wifeontherocks.com 

Ep 37 Codependency and Alcoholism: How To Spot Enabling Patterns That May Be Robbing You Of Peace

Are you ever unsure if your actions are helping your alcoholic husband—or actually enabling him? Many Christian wives fall into codependent patterns without realizing it, believing they are loving, protecting, or supporting their spouse. But what feels like care can quietly fuel addiction and rob you of peace.
In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we’ll explore what codependency really is, how to recognize enabling behaviors, and compare the dictionary definition with my personal definition. Together, we’ll look at the common patterns wives fall into, why they don’t work, and what I am in charge of compared to what I am not. 
You’ll hear:
The difference between helping and enabling in addiction.
Common enabling behaviors like monitoring, covering, or rescuing—and why they backfire.
The emotional toll of codependency (guilt, exhaustion, dysfunction).
How to grieve what you hoped for in marriage while feeling guilty for not continuing the cycle.
Simple first steps to begin breaking free from enabling patterns. Ask yourself this question. 
If you’ve ever thought, “Am I helping him or just making things worse?”, this episode will bring clarity and hope for your journey as a Christian wife walking through addiction.
👉 Submit your questions for a future episode at hello@wifeontherocks.com.
👉 Want personalized support? My fall 1:1 coaching sessions are now open. Book directly here: https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession

EP 36 Monitoring Alcohol Intake? Codependent Behavior 101 And What To Do Instead

When you’re married to an alcoholic, it feels almost impossible not to keep watch over his drinking. Maybe you’ve counted bottles, checked the liquor cabinet, or tracked every sip at dinner—hoping that if you could just measure the problem, you could somehow control it.
In this episode, we’ll talk about why monitoring an alcoholic’s drinking doesn’t work and how it keeps you trapped in a cycle of anxiety, hypervigilance, and codependency. Addiction hijacks the brain, and no amount of checking or policing can make your husband choose sobriety. His recovery is his responsibility—not yours.
You’ll learn:
Why watching his every move fuels your fear instead of giving peace.
How addiction and alcoholism shift accountability away from him when you try to manage it.
The emotional cost of living like a detective in your own home.
What it looks like to release control and reclaim your peace in Christ.
If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe if I just keep track, I can get ahead of this,” this episode will show you a healthier way forward. Your husband’s sobriety is not your responsibility—but your peace, your healing, and your walk with God are.
📩 Do you have a question you’d like me to cover on a future episode? Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com.
📅 Want to go deeper? My one-on-one coaching sessions are open now. Book here → (Temporarily unavailable. Email the above address and we will set a time:)

Ep 35 Regulating Emotion In The Face Of Gaslighting: Wives Of Alcoholics Guide

When gaslighting leaves you questioning your reality and your worth, it’s easy to spiral into anger, defensiveness, or despair. As wives, we long for our husbands to meet our emotional needs, but the truth is—no spouse can carry that weight fully. And when addiction and gaslighting are present, the gap feels even bigger than we ever imagined.
In this episode, I share how I’ve learned to regulate my emotions in the face of hurtful, confusing words. You’ll hear:
Why it’s dangerous to seek validation from a spouse who cannot give it.
Practical ways to counteract gaslighting without losing your peace.
How knowing who I am in Christ steadies me when my marriage feels like less than I ever expected.
Why Galatians 5:22 reminds me that the Holy Spirit equips me with self-control—even when I’m tempted to lash back in anger.
If you’ve ever thought, “I didn’t sign up for this—I expected so much more,” this episode will give you encouragement and practical tools to hold your ground in truth and respond with Spirit-led self-control.
📩 Do you have a question you’d like me to cover in a future episode, or a testimony of what God is doing in your life? Does your husband have a question for my husband? We are working on building our next interviews! Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com 
📅 If you’re ready for personal support, fall one-on-one coaching sessions are open now. Book directly here → https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession

EP 34 Waiting For Things To Get Better? 3 Tips To Regulate Your Nervous System When Addiction Impacts Your Home

Living with alcoholism in your marriage can leave you feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. The lies, broken promises, and constant chaos can make you wonder if hope is even possible. If you’ve ever whispered, “I can’t keep doing this,” this episode is for you.
In today’s conversation, I share 3 Christ-centered, practical tips to help you take one small step forward when you feel hopeless and defeated. These aren’t about fixing your husband—they’re about helping you anchor your heart, care for yourself, and invite God into the exhaustion.
You’ll learn:
Where your hope belongs when his choices keep breaking it.
Simple acts of self-care that bring life back into your day—like stepping outside in the sunshine, turning on praise music, or moving your body to clear the heaviness.
How to invite God into your weariness, trusting Him to carry what feels impossible.
Hopelessness doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you need fresh ways to steady your soul in Christ. With Him, you can take the next step, even in the storm.
📩 Do you have a question you’d like me to cover on the show, or a testimony of how God is meeting you in this journey? Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com.📅 If you’re ready for personal support and a safe space to process your next steps, my one-on-one summer coaching sessions are open now. Book directly here → https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession
Addiction, Co-Dependency, Boundaries, Alcoholic, Marriage, Hope

Ep 33 Tired of Boundary Battles? Effectively Communicate Boundaries To Your Alcoholic Husband

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a healthy boundary and one that only sounds right on the surface. Boundaries are like real vs. counterfeit money—you need to know what the genuine thing “sounds” like in order to recognize when something is off.
In this episode, I’m sharing examples of both unhealthy and healthy boundaries side by side so you can hear the difference for yourself. Poorly stated boundaries often come out of anger, sound controlling, or place the accountability on you instead of where it belongs. Healthy boundaries, on the other hand, are calm, clear, and protective without trying to control another person’s choices.
You’ll learn:
Why tone and phrasing matter more than you might realize—especially when you’re dealing with alcoholism, addiction, or gaslighting at home.
Why practice builds confidence in speaking boundaries that actually work.
How a “bad boundary” sounds compared to a “good boundary”—so you can stop feeling stuck and start protecting your peace.
If you’ve ever thought, “My boundaries sound right, so why don’t they work?”—this episode will help you start spotting the difference. Whether you’re navigating life with an alcoholic spouse, recovering from the effects of addiction, or learning how to respond to gaslighting, you’ll find practical insight and encouragement here.
👉 Have a question you’d like me to cover in a future episode? Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com 
👉 Want help practicing boundaries that actually work? My one-on-one summer coaching sessions are open now → https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

Ep 32 How Do I Set A Boundary That Actually Works In Active Addiction? 3 Traps To Avoid

When you’re living in the chaos of an alcoholic marriage, boundaries aren’t just helpful—they’re essential. But here’s the thing: not all boundaries are created equal. Some can actually cause more damage, fuel defensiveness, or leave you carrying all the accountability.
In this episode, I’m sharing three specific things I don’t do when I set boundaries—habits I’ve learned to leave behind so my boundaries are clear, effective, and truly protective for me and my family.
We’ll talk about how to avoid the traps that make boundaries backfire, and how to phrase them in ways that lower defensiveness instead of triggering it. Listen in to hear exactly what these three things are and how you can start shifting your approach today.
If you’ve been struggling to set boundaries that actually work, this is for you.
📩 Got a boundary question you’d like me to answer on the show? Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com.
📅 Want to work with me 1-on-1 this summer to create boundaries that bring clarity and peace? The link to my schedule is in the show notes—book your session directly today. https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

EP 31 Why Aren't My Boundaries Working? 4 Boundary Mistakes In Active Addiction

Setting boundaries in a marriage impacted by addiction is hard enough—but what happens when we set boundaries that backfire?
In this episode, we’re walking through 4 common boundary mistakes Christian wives often make when navigating life with an alcoholic spouse:
Boundaries made in anger – when emotions take over and clarity is lost
Not following through – the emotional toll of boundaries that don’t stick
Poorly communicated boundaries – the best of intentions, but instantly the defensiveness shows up from hubby!
Controlling boundaries – These sounded so good in my head, but only caused fights and a cycle of NO change. 
You’ll hear real-life examples of what these mistakes look like in the home—and how to reframe them with love, clarity, and biblical wisdom. Plus, I’ll show you how to spot the difference between a boundary that punishes and one that protects.
💬 Have a question you’d like answered on the show? Or want to share something God is doing in your life? I’d love to hear from you. Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com.
📅 Ready for support? If you’d like help setting boundaries that bring peace—not chaos—I offer one-on-one sessions designed just for wives in addicted marriages.👉 Click here to book a session: https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession