Wife On The Rocks I Gaslighting, Addiction, Codependency, Al Anon, Alcoholism, Recovery

Ep 50 Ever Wonder Why He Drinks More at the Holidays? INTERVIEW: Recovering Alcoholic Explains His Addiction Experience of Christmas Past.

Why does drinking seem to escalate every holiday season — and why does it feel so lonely forthe wife watching it happen?
In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we sit down together for an honest conversation aboutwhy alcoholics often drink more at the holidays and what that increase actually looks likeinside a marriage.
This interview explores:• Why the holidays give alcoholics “permission” to drink more• How alcohol is easier to hide this time of year• Why others don’t notice — but wives always do• The tunnel vision addiction creates, especially around drinking opportunities• How wives are focused on kids, meaning, and traditions while alcohol becomes the priority• Why alcoholics often encourage others to drink to deflect attention• What it feels like for a wife to watch this happen year after year
We also share a personal Christmas story where drinking escalated, an attempt to stop wasmade, and how confusing and painful that experience was for both of us. It’s a raw look at howalcoholism, anxiety, and the pressure of the holidays collide, leaving wives feeling unseenand emotionally abandoned.
If you’ve ever thought:• “Why does he drink so much more right now?”• “Why does no one else seem to notice?”• “Why am I the only one affected by this?”
This episode will help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface — and remind youthat your experience matters.
📩 Have questions or want to be added to the waitlist to work together?Email hello@wifeontherocks.com
🎙️ Listener Q&A episodes coming soon — send your questions anytime.

Ep 49 Has He Stopped “Showing Up” for the Holidays? Guest Interview: Addiction, Alcoholism, Depression, and Anxiety Collide at Christmas

What happens to holidays as alcoholism progresses?
In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we share a deeply personal conversation about howalcohol addiction slowly changed our family’s holidays over the years — often in ways we didn’tfully understand at the time.
This is a joint interview with my husband and me, reflecting honestly on:• What holidays looked like before addiction took over• How alcohol slowly pulled him away from family traditions• Why he began opting out, canceling plans, or avoiding holidays altogether• How anxiety and depression intensified as the disease progressed• The grief and confusion wives experience when their spouse emotionally disappears• Why missed holidays are often about addiction — not lack of love
We talk openly about how alcoholism doesn’t just affect drinking — it affects motivation,connection, mental health, and the ability to show up for meaningful moments. As the diseaseprogressed, holidays became overwhelming instead of joyful, leading to isolation, withdrawal,and eventually absence.
If you’ve ever wondered:• “Why doesn’t he want to do holidays anymore?”• “Why am I celebrating alone?”• “Is this depression, anxiety, or alcoholism?”• “Does he even care?”
This episode will help you understand what may really be happening — and remind you thatyou’re not alone, and it’s not your fault.
📩 Have a question or want to share your story? Email hello@wifeontherocks.com
📅 Book a 1:1 coaching session: Email to be added to the wait list for upcoming sessionopportunities!

Ep 48 Struggling to Manage Money In Addiction? Financial Impacts of Alcoholism

Do you dread the holidays because money feels out of control — and no matter how hard you plan, budget, or prepare, something always sabotages your efforts? When you're married to someone struggling with alcoholism, the financial stress of the holiday season hits different. You’re trying to manage Christmas gifts, family events, groceries, travel… all while navigating a spouse who is secretly spending, overspending, or using money to support an addiction.
And because both of you aren’t on the same page, you feel like you're doing something wrong — like if you just budgeted better or tried harder, things would work.
But here’s the truth:
👉 You cannot manage money effectively with someone who is also managing their addiction.
👉 You are not failing — alcoholism is destabilizing the home, not you.
👉 You have very little control over financial chaos caused by drinking.
In this episode, we’ll talk about:
• Why holiday money stress is so intense in homes affected by alcoholism
• The emotional shame spiral wives fall into (“Why can’t I fix this?”)
• Why budgeting with an addicted spouse rarely works — and why it’s NOT your fault
• How to release the belief that you’re supposed to “hold it all together”
• A simple truth to anchor in when the financial chaos feels overwhelming
• How understanding lack of shared reality can lift a massive burden off your shoulders
 
If you’ve ever blamed yourself for financial stress caused by addiction, this episode will help you breathe again.
👉 Questions for the show? Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com
Search: Financial Infidelity, Money Management, Dave Ramsey, Budgeting 

EP 47: Parenting Alone in an Alcoholic Marriage? Holiday Exhaustion…..You are NOT Alone!

Are you the only functioning parent in your home during the holidays? Do you carry the entire load—planning, preparing, protecting the kids, managing emotions—while your husband’s drinking increases and his presence decreases?
This episode dives into the heartbreaking exhaustion Christian wives face when they are emotionally and practically parenting alone, even though their spouse still lives in the home. You’ll hear why the holidays intensify this burden, why you feel so drained, and why the invisible load you carry is real, valid, and seen by God.
 
If you’ve ever collapsed into bed thinking, “I can’t hold this together alone,” this episode will meet you right where you are.
📩 Questions: hello@wifeontherocks.com
📅 Book a session: Email to be added to the waiting list.

Ep 46 Addiction: The Red Flags and How To Recognize it in a Marriage

Are you wondering if your husband’s drinking or behavior has crossed the line from “social” to something more serious? Maybe you’ve ignored the warning signs because you didn’t want to believe you were living with addiction. In this episode, we’re unpacking the red flags of addiction—what they look like in marriage, why we overlook them, and how codependency and love can cloud our judgment. 
 
You’ll learn:
✅ My real definition of addiction—and why it’s not just about how much he drinks or uses.
✅ Why so many wives and partners miss or excuse red flags in early relationships.
✅ Early warning signs that often show up before the problem is fully visible:
• Past attempts at sobriety or rehab stays
• A history of addiction in the family or previous relationships
• Alcohol or drugs present at nearly every social event
• Heavier use than others around him (but hard to see if your circle normalizes drinking)
• Encouraging you to drink or use more than you normally would 
We’ll talk about how codependency can disguise itself as love or loyalty—keeping you stuck in denial while addiction quietly takes over your marriage. You’ll also gain biblical insight and emotional tools to start seeing the truth clearly, without shame or fear.
When you understand the red flags of addiction, you can begin replacing confusion with clarity—and take your first step toward peace, wisdom, and recovery for your family. 
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Connect & Next Steps
👉 Have a question for a future episode? Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com
👉 Need personal coaching to spot addiction patterns and end codependent cycles? My 1:1 sessions are open with very limited availability. Feel free to email me if everything is booked and we can see what options we can come up with:)https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession  

Ep 45 Gaslighting Is the Fuel That Keeps You Stuck in an Endless Cycle of Addiction: The Secret to Breaking Free!

If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “How did I get back to this again?” — this episode is for you. That question means you’ve just gone through the cycle of gaslighting — and you may not even realize it.
In this episode, we break down what gaslighting in an alcoholic marriage really looks like, why it’s so powerful, and how it keeps you trapped in a cycle of confusion, guilt, and self-doubt. You’ll learn how to recognize the cycle, accept what’s happening, and take your first steps toward breaking free through truth and faith.
We’ll cover: ✅ What gaslighting is and how it works in addicted or alcoholic relationships ✅ Why gaslighting leaves you feeling crazy, confused, and stuck in repetitive arguments ✅ The spiritual, emotional, and psychological impact of gaslighting on Christian wives ✅ How to recognize when you’re back in the cycle ✅ The secret to freedom: awareness, acceptance, and faith-led action
When you finally see the cycle for what it is, you can stop spinning in it. You can protect your peace, rebuild your confidence, and walk in the clarity that comes from God’s truth — not the lies of addiction.
 
Want to connect? Email me at hello@wifeontherocks.com

EP 44 Why Addiction Is Always Dysfunctional: 5 Ways to See It Clearly (Even in High-Functioning Times)

When your husband is struggling with alcohol use, but life still looks mostly normal… it can be incredibly confusing.
 
He may be:
Holding down a good job
Active in church or community
Present with the kids at times Charming and “fine” around family and friends
 
And when you express concern?
He says you’re overreacting.
Or that things aren’t that bad.
Or he can stop anytime.
 
🎯 This is the world of high-functioning alcoholism — where dysfunction hides behind a polished exterior.
 
You begin to wonder:
Is he really an alcoholic?
Why does his drinking affect me so much?
Am I the problem?
Is this normal for a marriage?
How do I know if his drinking has crossed a line?
 
In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ How alcohol reshapes your husband’s brain around compulsion and denial
✅ Why gaslighting and blame-shifting increase over time
✅ How family members slip into codependency and survival roles
✅ Why emotional safety declines even before a crisis hits
✅ Five clarity questions to help you see addiction for what it truly is
 
Even in seasons where he is “high functioning,” alcohol always creates:
Spiritual disconnection
Emotional unpredictability
Increased anxiety for the whole family
Loss of trust, safety, and intimacy Subtle — but escalating — abuse patterns
 
You do not need rock-bottom to validate your pain. If alcohol is affecting your peace, your marriage, or your children — it is already too much. Your intuition is a gift. You deserve to see the truth clearly.
 
💛 You Don’t Have to Walk Through This Alone
If anything resonated, I’d love to support you.
I welcome your questions, stories, and prayer requests.
📩 Email me: hello@wifeontherocks.com 🗓️ Book a clarity coaching session: https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession
You are not imagining the dysfunction. You are not overreacting. You are not alone.
 
 

EP 43 Detox & Rehab: How Long Should My Alcoholic Husband Stay?

If your husband is finally getting help for his addiction, you may be wondering: How long should he stay in treatment? 30 days? 60 days? 90 days? Longer? And what does detox have to do with rehab?
 
Today, we’re breaking down the difference between detox and rehab in a simple, helpful way — and we’ll talk about why staying longer can make a big difference in your husband’s ability to recover well.
 
Here’s what we cover in this episode:
✅ Detox vs. Rehab — why detox alone isn’t enough.
✅ What actually happens in rehab (it’s not just sitting in a room!).
✅ Why 30 days is often just the beginning of healing.
✅ The brain science behind why staying longer improves recovery outcomes.
✅ How treatment gives wives peace of mind and breathing room.
✅ The tension between missing him at home vs. wanting him to fully heal.
✅ Why this moment is a marathon — not a sprint.
 
I also share my own experience of what it felt like when my husband was finally in a safe place getting help — the relief, the emotional crash, the grief for my kids — and how I learned to stay focused on the long-term goal, not the quick fix.
 
Because while it is hard to solo parent and navigate the emotional rollercoaster of treatment… you have prayed for this moment. And now is not the time to rush the healing.
Sobriety isn’t surface-level change. Recovery means going deep enough to face the root. And sometimes… that takes more time.
 
✨ LAST CALL: Holiday Survival Course
There are 3 live sessions still coming up, and you’ll receive instant access to the first two via recording — plus all the printable resources, homework, and support materials inside the private course hub.
If you want practical support and spiritual strength throughout this holiday season, I’d love to help you stay grounded in God’s peace and protect what matters most.
👉 Join the Holiday Survival Course here: https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/holiday-survival-course.
💌  Have a question for a future episode or want to share what God is doing in your life? Email me anytime at: hello@wifeontherocks.com
Need personal support? 1:1 coaching spots are open now — link in the show notes to schedule! https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession
You’re not alone in this, friend. There is hope — and healing — even here. Take a breath. Let’s walk this together. 💛
 

Ep 42 Why Won't He STOP Drinking Alcohol? Doesn't He Love Us? The Truth About The Addicted Brain

Have you ever asked yourself, “If he really loved us, why won’t he stop drinking?”
You’re not alone. So many Christian wives live in this painful confusion—trying to love, pray, and reason their way through addiction, only to feel rejected, unloved and unseen.
In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we unpack the truth about the addicted brain and why love alone can’t undo addiction. You’ll hear:
✅ Why addiction hijacks the brain’s survival system—and why it’s not a matter of willpower or love.✅ How logic and heartfelt pleas fall short when the brain is controlled by substance dependence.✅ Why advice from people who don’t understand addiction often hurts more than it helps.✅ A personal story of the naive stage of early addiction and how we think we can snap them out of it, but realizing that his addiction is stronger than we think. ✅ What it means to pray for your husband’s eyes to be opened by God in His timing.
Understanding this doesn’t make it easier—but it helped me stop taking the pain personally. There is always hope, because God is still working behind the scenes in ways you can’t see.
IT IS NOT TOO LATE!Join the Holiday Survival Course, created for wives of alcoholics who want to identify the options you have in situations, set boundaries with grace, and focus on God’s presence in the midst of the chaos. Special Holiday Course, BUT the tools you learn are applied year-long! 👉 Click here to join the Holiday Survival Course:
https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/holiday-survival-course 
 
📩 Have a question you’d like answered in a future episode? Want to share anything with me? Email hello@wifeontherocks.com.

Ep 41 Struggling To Communicate in an Alcoholic Marriage? ONE Boundary You Can Set Today

Have you ever found yourself drawn into a heated or emotional conversation with your husband after he’s been drinking—only to regret it the next day when he doesn’t remember, denies it happened, or twists your words? In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we’ll talk about why refusing to engage in conversation when alcohol is involved is not cold or controlling—it’s wise, protective, and biblical. Learn about the ONE boundary that I had to set in our home when addiction was taking over everything! Come along on this journey where co-dependency develops boundaries to deal with alcoholism in a way that can protect in the hard moments of gaslighting and conversations that spiral quickly!
You’ll learn:
Why alcohol changes how people hear and process words.
The logic behind disengaging (you wouldn’t debate with someone who’s not in their right mind).
Why engaging feels like betraying yourself—and how to stop.
What to do instead of arguing or trying to reason.
How faith and boundaries can coexist without shame or guilt.
If you’ve ever felt stuck between silence and chaos, desiring to have a close relationship rooted in healthy communication, but instead wind up in an argument that goes nowhere, this episode will help you choose peace—and know that walking away doesn’t mean giving up. It is an essential boundary at times to protect your heart.
 
👉 Join the Holiday Survival Course to learn practical ways to navigate this season. 
https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/holiday-survival-course 
We are not helpless in this cycle, although it often feels that way, there are many things that we can be doing to walk in peace TODAY. Everything that I talk about on the Podcast and SO MUCH MORE!! The best part is that I am teaching LIVE for these 5 weeks and with interactive components, you can reach out for help and support as we go along! At the end of the 5 weeks you will have worked through the common traps this time of year and have built a plan specific for your family that you can rely on any day of the year!
It is like having the podcast (and me) in your pocket. Encouragement for 5 weeks straight!! Wrapped in beautiful paper and tied with a bow. A GIFT for YOU this Christmas!! 
1) Guarding your mind from Gaslighting and walking in Truth 
2) Recognize unhealthy patterns and how to break them
3) Parenting Challenges, A Child’s Perspective, Traditions and Scheduling 
4) Boundaries that WORK for YOUR family 
5) Protecting your mind from the mental spiral on the hard days
Don’t walk this path alone again! Find support, connection, and hope as we navigate the unpredicatability together, build a road map that works for your family, and have a plan designed especially for YOU in the moments that are too painful for words. Get your Hot Cocoa and snuggly blanket and let’s talk about how this year could look different!
Course begins in ONE Week on October 21st. Click here for full details and to grab your seat!!
https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/holiday-survival-course 
 👉 Need personalized support? Book a 1:1 coaching session!
https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 
Send your questions to hello@wifeontherocks.com. There are a few spots left before Thanksgiving!